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My Scary Story That Wouldn't Post In Jezebel

I’ve been waiting for this because last winter something happened to me that really freaked me out.

I work in Chicago but live in Columbus, OH. I commute home every other weekend. I’ve been doing this for four years so I pretty much have my routes down (I drive because flying is too much $$$ and hassle).


From IL to OH, I take the 80/94 to 65 south to 70 east. It’s boring but quick.

On the way back, I go a different way: From Columbus, I take 270 to rte 23 north to US30 west. I take the freeway around Ft Wayne and take 30 all the way to the 80 turnpike.


Last January, I needed to be in the office on Monday (I usually work from home). So I left at like 2 AM, which would get me to work at 7:30 or 8:00 AM after changing at my apartment.

I am very used to the route and know exactly where the rest stops are and gas stations with decent coffee.


The first rest stop I stopped at was on Rte 23, about an hour out. I stop here because it’s a good two hours to the next one.

I used the urinal and written on top in very neat handwriting it said: I I want to suck your hard cock - 1-18 11:30 PM, about 3 hours ago. Above the urinal, on the wall was a pretty decent cartoon of a cock being sucked. Next to it was a depiction of anal sex. Written beside it was: I want your hard cock in my ass.


I finished up. I noticed there were several trucks parked in the lot and I kind of wondered if it was one of them and if they’d found their good time.

I got in my car and drove off. I have a Subaru Forester with a sticker on the rear window that says “Ohio State Dad”.


I stopped for more coffee at a Speedway (didn’t have to pee) and got on US30, heading west.

Just after I-75, I pulled into the next rest area.

I walked in and the same cartoonist had done another picture, but this time the cartoon depicted a vivisection. Very realistic organs were next to a torso and a kneeling man had his face fully inside the body cavity. Only the back of his (her?) head showed.


Okay. THIS creeped me out, but I had to pee. On top of the urinal was written: I want to rip you apart and fuck your guts. I want to eat your shit-filled intestines. 1-19 2:45.

I looked at my watch, it was just after 4:30. I was gaining on this guy.

I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I think the fact that the drawings were so professional and the spelling so good that it affected me even more. I drove on.


I watched as I passed cars and trucks (maybe three in total…this is rural), I tried to see in the windows but it was still dark. I was passed only twice, once by a big BMW and once by an older Chevy Impala, both had Indiana plates.

An hour and a half later I was approaching the next rest stop. I didn’t really have to go, but I had to see if there was more graffiti.


I was the only car in the parking lot. There were a couple of trucks. I walked to the bathroom. I am not ashamed to admit that I was more than a little afraid. I grabbed a good-sized wrench from the toolbox I carry with me on these trips.

The second I hit the lobby I could smell shit. I almost turned around, but I had to look. I walked into the men’s room. The lights are automatic and they flickered on. In foot high letters, written in shit (I think it was shit, anyway), it said, “ALMOST THERE DAD! OHIO! LOL!!!” It looked fresh.


I felt dizzy. The thick smell of shit and the fact that I felt that they were somehow talking to me (Dad? Ohio? Ohio State Dad?) nearly made me pass out. I stepped back and then noticed that a road-kill raccoon or groundhog or something had been ripped apart and it’s carcass and guts were lying next to a stall.

I got the fuck out of there.

Once outside, I felt a little better, but as I walked to my car, I heard a whispered bark and I some muffled laughter. I looked around, but it was dark and there were bushes and trees all over.


I didn’t want to run because I knew if I did, I would panic. I fast-walked, got in my car, started it and got on the road.

Once my phone had synched up with my radio, I called 9-1-1 and reported the vandalism at the rest stop. They took the call like no big deal and I didn’t elaborate. I was about 5 minutes from Indiana.


Five minutes into Indiana, I saw emergency flashers on the side of the road up ahead. It was the Impala that had passed me hours ago, its hood up. A guy was standing with his thumb out just ahead of his car, illuminated by the headlights. It was maybe 18 degrees and he was only wearing a hoodie and jeans. He looked cold. I slowed way down and rolled down the passenger window a little way. I won’t give people I see on the side of a dark desolate road rides. I almost stopped, but as I slowed, I noticed dark brown stains on his yellow sweatshirt. And his hands were filthy with something dark. Maybe grease from trying to fix his car, maybe shit and blood. I sped up and he raised a double bird at me and screamed at me. His mouth seemed too wide and his teeth looked too small and there were too many of them. I doubt this part is actual, but that’s what I think I saw.

I downshifted, jumped on the accelerator, and took out.

I called 9-1-1 again and reported the stranded motorist. I didn’t make a big deal about it, just gave the mile marker number. I didn’t tell them that he had screamed “FUCK YOU, OHIO!!!”


I checking my mirror. The headlights shrunk behind me. They disappeared. I didn’t stay on US 30. I took US69 North to the turnpike. Out of the way, but well-lit and the rest areas are also fast-food joints, so there’s always people.

I tried looking for any mention of the vandalism or the stranded motorist the next on the internet but found nothing.


I now rent a car every trip and I don’t use US30.

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